7 things you need to give up to be happy

To be happy, we must adopt the mindset of happiness. In everyday life, we often develop mental habits that don’t really agree with the said mindset. Nevertheless, we can master the happiness mindset if we learn to detect the habits preventing us from being happy. To help you with that, here is a list of 7 things you need to give up to be happy.

1. Perfectionism

Perfectionism is a pattern of your mind that makes you believe that everything you do must be done in a perfect way. This means, no mistakes allowed. This raises the pressure on you, which makes you feel stressed and anxious. You find yourself working even harder, but sooner or later you will realize that you can never find satisfaction. You can’t ever be proud, and you basically never reach anything. It makes you think that you are never good enough. And as it is not really a secret that this type of thoughts makes you unhappy.

So instead of striving for perfection, decide to strive for your best version. Give your very best in whatever you do, but allow mistakes to happen, because they are human, and they are a gift that makes you learn. You will feel a sense of achievement when you didn’t give up after the mistake.

2. Expectations 

Expectations are what creates disappointment. An expectation awaits for something to live up to a certain standard, and if it does not, it is a failure, a disappointment. If your mind is dominated by expectations, your reality vanishes, and nothing real can ever fulfill your expectations. If it goes to extremes like this, your reality will never satisfy you. Expectations are a catalyzer for unhappiness.

Also, expectation robs your life of magic. If you always think about what you are expecting from someone or something, it becomes difficult to be surprised. Magic and excitement happens when something unexpected happens. So everything you need to do to fill your life with magic is letting go of expectations.

3. Regret

To find happiness now, you must stop living in the past. The past is over, and it cannot bring you anything for your NOW, because you just can’t live in the past. It’s over. Done. Far away. So don’t go back to it by regretting anything that happened in it. Stop regretting to free yourself of your past and come to the present. This is where your life is happening. Your past should not make you feel bad, define the way you are acting (based on past experience) or hold you back. What went wrong in the past had its reasons, you learned something for your present life and that’s all you should take from it. Don’t waste your time trying to solve problems from the past, because it will leave you with less time to focus on your current situation.

So let go of the mistakes of your past, of the people that quit your life, and decide to be you in the NOW, because that is and will ever be the only “you” you have.

4. Blaming

You are the one deciding for yourself. You decide where to go, what to do and how to react. Don’t be the victim. Be the leader. You have the power over your life. Whatever is happening to you, decide to be thankful for it and take the good of it to learn. Stop blaming anyone else for the way you are feeling, because first, it won’t solve anything, and second, the way you are feeling does not have anything to do with what they did. What they did is their business, and you are the one who decides how you react to it. Your reaction is what determines the way you are feeling about something. Stop to blaming and take control over your life, so you can always decide to be happy.

Related: You have the power of choice

5. Caring about other people’s thoughts

During math class, they used to say: “Don’t confuse apple and pears.” In this case: “Don’t confuse other people and you.” Always be aware of what you are working with. Other people are unequal to you. Other people’s opinions are not relevant to you.

What other people think of you is none of your business.

-Regina Brett

This is your life. Don’t let anybody else have a say in it. Things that will make you happy won’t necessarily make other people happy, but that’s not the point of it, is it? It is not your responsibility to please everybody. It is your responsibility to please you and to be happy. Even if the people who won’t understand your choices will leave, then so it shall be. If they cannot be happy for you, they are just not meant for you. If they are, they will come back once it is time.

Related article: Why comparison attacks your happiness

6. Complaining

As we’ve established already, you are the one to get you out of your “misery”. Complaining about a situation does not solve it, instead, it only upsets you more, aka it makes you unhappy. So why do you keep doing it? Decide to be positive, because that’s how you improve your life. And think about this: Every time you complain, you miss an opportunity to be happy.

7. Overthinking

I think in today’s society, we all have it figured out: Overthinking is a happiness killer. Our mind can be transformed into our biggest enemy once we get into the overthinking spiral. Overthinking will talk you out of any potential exciting shit if you don’t fight against it! Happiness happens when you get to do all the exciting stuff in life that you aspire to do. It happens when you follow your dreams. It unfolds at the other side of your comfort zone. That is where true, happy LIFE happens. So stop the overthinking to get out of your comfort zone and start living. Just. Do. It.

I hope my tips were helpful and you now know what habits you need to reconsider to start rocking your happy life now! For further reading on how to become happy, I invite you to read my 20 ways to increase your happiness, or my 5 steps to your happiness.

Thank you for reading!