How to become happy: 5 steps to your happiness

Are you happy?

Or are you rushed off your feet and time just passes without you realizing? You may feel stressed, always dealing with fear, self-doubts and other negative thoughts. Your mind must be overflowing with thoughts without ever giving you a rest. Now I dare you to take a moment and ask yourself a question: Am I happy? 

If you did not immediately shout yes, then this is for you. Isn’t it a pity that you’re living your life without being filled with happiness all the time? Being happy all the time sounds impossible, you say? Well, then maybe you just don’t know how to make room for happiness. That’s why you should absolutely take some minutes to read my 5 steps to happiness.

1. Take a moment to reflect

Surprise! You have already completed the first step only by asking yourself the question above. The decision you made to click on this post, to read the first paragraph and not only to ask but to answer an important question has already launched your journey to happiness.

You took a moment, stopped your busy life and spent your precious time reflecting. This is how every good change starts, and I am pleased to announce that you are now a step closer to your happiness.

2. Accept and appreciate where you are.

Now that you have discovered that there could be more to life than what you’ve experienced up to now, you now need to accept and appreciate the place where you are in your life right now.

Accept that you are at a place in your life that may not be perfect and may not fill you with ultimate happiness, because that’s from where you can go on. It cost energy and commitment to get to where you are now, and you are right where you should be. 

If you would not be right here, at this very moment, reading this, then you would probably not be interested in changing anything. So be grateful for this moment.

Every step you take in life follows the steps you’ve taken before it.

So what does this mean?

You are always in the right place, no matter what. That’s what you need to learn, and once you’ve accomplished this step, you’ll feel the comforting difference it makes. It becomes impossible to think that you are wrong. You can read more about this topic in this article.

Also, here is a great quote from Steve Jobs:

3. Clear your head and take some distance

Now that you have accepted that there is room for improvement it’s time to take action to enhance your relationship with your mind. Due to the fact that -as you may have heard already- happiness starts with your mindset, it is obvious that this is where you should set your focus on.

Clear your head by deleting the negative thoughts.

Take some distance and ask yourself why you are thinking in a negative way and where those thoughts are coming from? And then, is it really worth it? Do the negative thoughts really merit that you miss a possibility of more happiness?

Please know that every single negative thought that crosses your mind deprives you of a positive thought. It is sad to read that, isn’t it?

…But how?

Imagine you’re preparing a speech you’re feeling anxious about. You may be thinking: “I will be stuttering and people will laugh at me.”

Instead, you could think “I will be so proud of myself and people will like it.” Sounds too easy? It’s all practice.

So try to make it a habit to detect the negative thoughts and reformulate them into positive ones. It takes only seconds and it will have a massive positive impact on your life!

4. Breathe and be mindful

Step four is something that you should never refrain from doing. Breathing (else you would die, huh? … I know. I’m so funny) and being mindful.

Keep breathing

Breathing is the most important action that we have to keep doing all the time. Nothing new, of course, but don’t you sometimes catch yourself holding your breath?

Personally, in stressful situations, I have a habit of holding my breath, breathing flatly or not steadily.

This is the absolute worst thing to do in a stressful situation because when you’re stressed, you should need the precious oxygen to keep a clear head. 

So here’s my advice: When you’re stressed, or even just in casual everyday situations, check your breathing and force yourself to take some deep breaths to relax. It will take some time to establish this habit, but the benefit is priceless.

Stop to breathe

There is a principle I call “stopping to breathe”. It means that you decide to stop for a second and take a deep breath just to appreciate the moment.

I’ve come to realize that in everyday life, I just live without noticing. The time is passing and the world keeps turning and I may have absolutely great moments without actively realizing and savoring them.

So these last times, I’ve been stopping myself every now and then, telling myself to breathe and savor the beautiful moment.

Let’s say you’re having dinner with friends, you’re enjoying the evening, but you are not actively relishing the moment. Here you could, just for a moment, shut off, look around the table, smile and think “I have amazing friends, and I am so glad we got to do this.”

This is also part of my definition of “being mindful”. You are attentively paying more attention to what is happening around you and spend a thought. You’re stopping, breathing, and saying “Wow.”

And at this moment, you’re happy.

5. Know that you are in control

Thank you for reading

Love,