This book completely shattered my self-image. “Mindset” by Dr. Carol S. Dweck

I read a book that completely blew me away – it gave a name to all my struggles. It changed my view of the world and myself. And above all, it made me want to improve myself and my mindset.

That book is “mindset” by Dr. Carol S. Dweck.

In this book, Dr. Dweck writes about two different mindsets that are opposites of each other. And those mindsets determine whether you fulfill your potential in life or not. Those two mindsets are:

1. the “fixed mindset”
2. the “growth mindset”

The fixed mindset

People with the fixed mindset are convinced that people are born with certain intelligence and talent, and those qualities are carved in stone and don’t change throughout life. What follows is a need to prove their intelligence and talent over and over again.

Their biggest fear is not being naturally smart. They fear challenges and failure, because they feel defined by it. To fail equals that they simply don’t have the ability. Failure has the power to shatter their self-esteem and their way of coping with it is by giving up.

With the fixed mindset comes an unwillingness to learn. People with the fixed mindset expect ability to show up without having to develop it. Either it’s there, or it isn’t.

They think they’re special and better than others and for that, they’re in need of constant validation.

Effort is a weakness, because it also means they’re not smart or talented enough. When something requires work, it’s not for them. Once things get tough, they lose interest.

The growth mindset

People with the growth mindset believe that personality and intelligence can be developed. No matter where you start; experience, training and personal effort can bring you very far; your true potential is unknown.

People with a growth mindset are passionate about learning new things to grow their basic qualities. When they fail, they try to find out why they failed and how they can do better next time. They’re looking for ways to become better all the time. They stretch themselves beyond the possible.

I was shocked to find out that I have a fixed mindset.

I couldn’t deny it. For so long, I had been convinced I was an agent of personal development… but I was wrong. As I kept reading, one painful realization after the other shot into my mind.

My fixed mindset

I was always the smart kid, I had good grades, I didn’t need to learn and I had an endless variety of talents. I never checked my mistakes after a test. After all, why should I? I was already good enough!

When a test didn’t go well, I worked even less for the next test. When my grades weren’t as good for once, it was the teacher’s fault, who obviously couldn’t understand how smart I was.

I have a fear of trying out new things because I’m afraid that I won’t be able to learn them and will fail. In the same way, whenever I notice that I need to put in effort to improve, I’d rather give up than doing so.

Whenever somebody criticizes me, I listen to it, but I don’t make use of it.

I never set goals for myself.

And now I understand why! Setting a goal means committing to learning something and as I am already “perfect”, I am not supposed to need that! If I set a goal for myself and commit, I could fail, so I prefer not setting goals. It is safer that way.

The problem with the fixed mindset

In the fixed mindset, there is no growth happening, so inevitably, there comes a time when you’ll get stuck, once your innate talents and intelligence aren’t enough anymore.

My fixed mindset definitely contributed to my decision to drop out of Music College. (If you don’t know my story, go read it here).

I was studying the clarinet, and I expected to have the perfect sound and technique from the beginning – and I got frustrated when that didn’t happen. This ruined my self-esteem and brought me near to depression. Then I set an end to it by dropping out of College – in other words: I escaped the problem by giving up rather than putting in the effort.

(Still, I don’t regret dropping out!)

This book completely threw me out of my illusion.

Up to the moment when I started to realize I have a fixed mindset, I’d been convinced that I am somehow special, different and better than other people. Yes, it’s not easy to admit, but I was sure I’d won the genetic lottery.

I never showed that off and I would not consider myself arrogant, but years of not having to work hard for anything had planted that self-image into my mind. I believed I just got lucky.

Reading this book made me realize that I’m not special at all. I’m rather a victim of my own lie than a genetic winner.

This book is the most life-changing thing that happened to me.

My true growth begins here. After reading the book, I, for once, decided not to surrender to my mindset, but to start changing my mindset NOW.

I start to tell myself to push through whenever things get tough. I jump out of my comfort zone more often and try new things.

One of those jumps is my Youtube Channel. I now pay more attention to what I can learn from others and I listen more closely to criticism without being defensive.

One of the things I do to change my mindset is my project “GOALS for GROWTH” where I set myself goals for a specific period of time and commit to them. You can join in the project if you have the same or similar issues as me (also if you don’t)! Check it out here.

You might want to read this book if you…

• want to discover more about yourself
• feel stuck and don’t know how to change
• compare yourself to other people and get frustrated
• fear trying new things
• want to understand what successful people do differently
• look to understand the people in your life better
• have issues in your relationship
• want to get out of your own way

The only thing you need to beware of when reading this book

If you happen to find out that you have a fixed mindset, then this book might feel like a total punch in the gut. (Like it did for me)

BUT that punch comes from your fixed mindset, too, and now is the moment not to let your fixed mindset win anymore: Don’t surrender, don’t stay in the victim mindset – decide to start changing your mindset NOW!

That decision will lay the foundation for your future growth.

Dr. Carol S. Dweck herself had the fixed mindset, and now she’s helping thousands of people to build their growth mindset – change is definitely possible!

Now make sure you get your book!

---

What mindset do you have according to my explanations? What issues have you encountered that sound familiar to mine?

Feel free to comment, I’d love to chat!

Love,