9 reasons why you should stop minding other people’s thoughts

It is time to finally stop minding other people’s thoughts.

Stop stepping back because you are afraid somebody will think you’re silly.

Stop staying quiet because of the fear of not being accepted or understood.

Start living your own life and stop living for others.

Stop minding their thoughts.

All you should mind is your very own business.

Why do we care so much and why you should stop? Read on to find out why you need to stop minding other people’s thoughts as soon as possible.

Why do we care so much?

It all started back when you were little. Mum and Dad loved you when you were cute and quiet and did not annoy them, and we’re all good. But then, they also didn’t love you that much when you were being loud and silly, and they told you to be quiet or stand still, or whatever else.

You wanted to be loved, like everybody wants to be loved.

So you analyzed their reactions to figure out what you needed to do to be loved. You started caring more about what they thought than about what YOU would have liked to do.

And that’s just the beginning.

In school, you were taught to do what the teacher said. You needed to fit their expectations, you had to care about what they thought. When you didn’t do so, you got detention or bad marks. Then people would be mad, your family would be disappointed and your mates would laugh.

You wanted to be liked, so you learned to care about what the teacher said.

People in school bullied you, while all you wanted was to be loved and respected. You did not understand them, but still tried to do so. You cared a lot about their thoughts because you did not want to be bullied anymore.

All we ever want is to be loved. And so we try to make other people happy and be the way they expect us to be.

What’s wrong with caring?

When you care about what goes on in the mind of somebody else and what that person might think of you, it does not have ANY good effect on you.

From my own experience, every time I catch myself worrying about what somebody else is thinking… I feel bad. I become afraid that they will think I am not doing good work, that I am insecure and not doing it right, etc. Basically, it is always the worst case scenario playing in my head.

I imagine that they are constantly having an eye on me and judging me. And my conclusion will most definitely be that a) I need to change or b) I need to quit… What is included in both of these conclusions?

Yes, self-doubts. I feel unworthy, not good enough, not ready, and I end up running away. I will always end up making myself small and being mad at myself.

Actually, while I am writing this post, I keep wondering if anybody is going to like it or feel what I am writing. Is even anyone going to read it? Why am I doing this? Should I even keep doing it or just quit and do something else? And on it goes. But you know what?

I keep pushing and do it anyway.

Let’s see what our 9 reasons for stopping that habit of minding other people’s thoughts are!

9 reasons why you should stop minding other people’s thoughts

1. You loose yourself

You care so much about what people think that you actually forget what YOU actually want. For that you stop listening to your own desires to make somebody else happy. Like this, you slowly but surely loose the connection with yourself, and it will take a great deal of effort to find yourself back.

2. You never get any credit

When you try to make somebody else like you or think good of you, you will never ever be rewarded for that work. Because, even IF that person who you are doing it for CHANGES his or her opinion… he or she will most likely not tell you. Why? Because they are not aware of your efforts. THEY DON’T KNOW. It’s as simple as that.

3. It makes you upset

You cannot, ever, please everybody. There will always be people that just hate or don’t like you, even without a reason. So there is nothing good about trying to please everyone, because you will always be disappointed and upset.

4. It nourishes self-doubts

Like I told you above, when I care, I am always convinced that those other people are judging me. But what I actually miss is that they probably aren’t even thinking about me in the first place. So I basically worry about things that don’t exist, and as a little extra, I indulge in self-doubts.

5. You will never feel fulfilled

It is not really a secret that you will never feel fulfilled if you set your goals based on other people’s wishes and expectations. They are just not your wishes, so why should you be happy for accomplishing them? Makes no sense, right?

6. You live for other people

Even though it might have been made clear by now, I’d like to say it again, in a different way: If you mind other people’s thoughts, you live for them, not for yourself. You live to make them happy, not you. Harsh, but true. Stop being the people-pleaser, start living your own life, because it is the only one you have!

7. You loose connection to why you are doing what you are doing

If you do things for other people, you will never be able to find a true reason within you to explain what you are doing. Then, if somebody asks you why you chose to do what you are doing… you may get a little panic attack because you don’t actually know. If we go even further, you may have an identity crisis. So to prevent that from happening, don’t mind other people’s wishes for you. Read this to find out how to reconnect to yourself.

8. You won’t be happy. Ever.

You can only be happy if you decide to make yourself happy and strive for it. Yes, YOU are the only one who can make yourself happy. And you won’t be happy if you make somebody else happy. You may think you will be happy if you are loved by other people, but no.

There will always be more people that you want to make happy, and it is a vicious circle, which you can only escape if you decide to live for yourself, love yourself and understand that happiness comes from within.

9. You hesitate. A lot.

I just noticed it today. I saw a small job opportunity that interested me, and my first thought was “Oh yes, I’m going to apply!!”, then, my second thought: “No, never, how stupid of me to believe I could be a goood fit! What are they gonna think? You’re not qualified!”

I hesitated and almost talked myself out of it. But then I wrote them nevertheless. Because I understood where my self-doubts came from, and I am willing to go beyond them and stop caring. The worst that can happen is that they won’t accept, and I will never even know whether they laughed or not.

And I actually was accepted!

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In general, we established that minding other people’s thoughts does nothing good for you. It actually only does bad.

It makes you upset, unhappy, unfulfilled and you never get credit for what you do. You hesitate too much and never do all of what you would like to. You may even loose yourself and connection to what you truly want and what you are aspiring to reach. It ends in big self-doubts and frustration, because you cannot be happy and fulfilled when you are living your life for somebody else.

So it is high time you stop minding other people’s thoughts. For that, stay tuned for the second part of this article! It will be coming out on coming out on the 5th of June! If you want to be notified when it is up, click here to subscribe to my e-mail list.

Feel free to tell me what you think in the comments!