You cannot expect to find happiness in life if you don’t know what makes you happy. It’s like working towards an undetermined goal. You then literally work towards nothing while hoping for everything. This can’t really work out, right?
You first need to find out what can make you happy. And for this, it is vital that you connect with yourself. Connect with the you deep inside you so that you can feel in balance and in control while you are striving for happiness.
How to connect with yourself
Slow down
The number one reason you aren’t connected with yourself probably is because life is just busy, right? There is no time to reflect, you’re always in a rush and life is challenging and demanding. No time to breathe.
So obviously, I am going to tell you to first slow down. The number one reason for your problem is the number one thing to reconsider when you want to tackle that problem. So here are some tips to slow down:
- Learn to say no
- Plan your breaks
- Try breathing exercises
- Be mindful
Make time and space
Similar to the first tip; to build a connection with yourself, you must make time and space for yourself. Don’t try to please everybody else. There is no need to attend every single event, and your friends won’t be mad at you if say no once in a while to have some time for yourself. Sometimes, you need to shut the outside world off to find back to yourself. Here are some ways you can make time and space for yourself:
- Schedule some “me-time”
- Take a day off
- go on a solo trip
- Get up a
litte earlier than your family and savor your alone time / do some self-care - Go outside into nature
- Detox from social media
Reconnect to your body
Nowadays, it is a common problem that we have lost the connection to our body. When sitting in front of a computer screen the entire day, staying in the same position without moving much, your muscles accustom to that posture, they shorten and tense up, and you end up with stiffness and pain throughout your body.
Your body is where you feel your emotions, and if you aren’t connected to your body, you can have a hard time understanding and truly feeling your emotions. Also, you don’t control your breathing, which makes or breaks your life standard.
A great way to reconnect to your body is by doing Yoga. If you’ve never tried it, I highly recommend you do so. Try to find a beginner Yoga class in your area and just go for it. It can do nothing than
Meditate
When I felt lost in my life, trapped in the negative-thinking-spiral, unsure what to do with my life… I somehow naturally felt the urge to give meditation a try. I had never tried it before, but I had heard that it would be really calming and good to reconnect to yourself.
So I had no idea how to do it, so I did some guided meditation on Youtube. Nothing special happened, but when I sat down the next day, without a guide, only with myself and my concentration… at some moment, I felt an incredibly strong liberating sensation traveling through my entire body. That day, I cried tears of joy. I guess I had a glimpse of that beautiful space of “no mind” that people talk about… and it somehow changed me.
So I heavily recommend giving meditation a try. IMPORTANT: Don’t expect anything. Don’t force it. Don’t blame yourself for nothing. Just allow it.
How to start meditation
Get up some minutes earlier in the morning, sit down on a Yoga mat or carpet. Sit crosslegged, or on your knees, or even on a chair. Lay your hands on your knees, close your eyes and take some deep breaths. Concentrate on your breathing; you may also just count
Do a life audit
Find a journal and a pen and do a life audit. A life audit means taking a close look at your life and analyzing your current situation. Like this, you get clearer on what is happening in your life, what’s wrong, what’s good, and where you want to go from here. Ask yourself these questions:
- Where am I at?
- How did I get to this point?
- Am I happy with what I am doing?
- Am I consciously choosing my life or am I being controlled by the outside?
- Is this what I want to be doing?
- Am I at my best?
- Is there something that bothers me? How can I change it?
- Why did I loose connection to myself?
- How is my health? My fitness? My eating habits?
- …
Go on a self-discovery journey
Why self-discovery?
Connecting with yourself also means going on a self-discovery journey and finding out more about yourself. When you travel inwards and ask yourself what you truly want, you connect with yourself on an entirely new level. Then you can get clearer on your goals and dreams and start to think about what you will do to reach them.
How come that we actually think we can be happy if we don’t even know where we’re headed
That’s why self-discovery session is so important. So you wanna make sure you invest enough time and maybe even money into it.
How to discover yourself
There are a million ways to do some self-discovery work. Here are some of my tips for you:
Ask yourself questions
Ask yourself some questions and write the answers down in a journal. Here is a great post with 52 self-discovery journal prompts!
Travel
Visit new places. Put yourself into a new environment and see what it does for your self-discovery! Maybe you’ll find out that you really want to be a tourist guide, or that rock climbing could be a potential new hobby of yours!
Take time
Take time to relax. Get some space in your mind. And Trust the process. Don’t rush it, and don’t stress.
Try new things
Sign up for that cooking class you’ve been thinking of. Or try that new job. Go bunjee jumping. Whatver it is, try that new and unknown thing! Maybe you will discover some interesting things about yourself!
Listen to your heart
To truly connect with yourself, answering some questions and thinking about what you want with your mind is not enough. You also must connect to your HEART. So what should you do now?
Well,
I know it sounds cliche, but you must learn to listen to your heart. Why?
Let me tell you a little story.
Last year, I was in a huge down period of my life. I was trapped in a negative thinking spiral, I could not get
But I could not admit I hated it. I kept trying to make it better. I kept swallowing my frustration, I kept going… up to the point that my health was decreasing, my concentration fading, and my personality almost crashing under the burden of what I was trying to ignore so desperately.
What I truly was doing was ignoring my heart. It kept screaming at me: “Quit! This is making you sick! This is not what you want!”
And it wouldn’t stop screaming until I eventually listened.
Deep within me I had known for a long time I needed to quit. But I refused to listen to that call, because my mind was full of worry and fear of the unknown. It was afraid of what was to be found beyond the comfort zone, beyond all that I had known before.
And that’s exactly what I meant by going beyond your mind. Your mind is in your brain, and your brain is wired to keep you safe at all costs, therefore it gives you fear and holds you back from following your heart.
But when I listened, my life improved.
So I now challenge you to ask yourself this amazing question:
“What do you know that you don’t know?”
What do you know deep inside, what does your heart secretly tell you, but you pretend not knowing or not hearing, because your mind tells you it’s not safe to listen?
Be honest with yourself. Really.
Love yourself
Think for a second about the people you feel the most connected with. Let me guess… Are those the people you love?
Learning to love yourself will for sure build a better connection to yourself. Loving yourself means having compassion for yourself, listening to your needs and desires and being kind to yourself in every moment of your life.
And that’s how you build trust towards yourself, trust that what is inside you is what will bring you your happiness. Then you will learn to lead your life in approval of your values, your goals and generally, your heart.
Trust, love, connection.
So, to wrap it up; you can reconnect with yourself by slowing down and taking time for yourself, doing some physical activity like Yoga, trying out meditation, analyzing your current life situation and doing some self-discovery.
Most importantly, don’t just try to work this out with your mind, but go beyond your mind by listening to your heart, too. Then also always love yourself in the process, and you will build a strong connection with yourself and lay the foundation for your best and happiest life.
I hope I could give you some valuable tips! Feel free to tell me in the comments or write me at info@claudiableser.com!
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